Written By Mike Slebodnik November 20, 2008 11 Comments
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Locker Room Nudity

I go to the gym.  Like everyone else, I spend time in the locker room to change, piss or shit before and after my workout.  I’ve noticed some peculiar things in men’s locker rooms throughout my years but one thing holds truer than all else.  Once you’ve turned 50, it is your obligation to parade around stark naked.

I don’t know if it’s my generation, but I try to be nude in the company of male strangers as little as possible.  I’m just not comfortable with it.  I’m not the only one either, because I haven’t seen someone my age strutting around butt-ass naked for anytime longer than it takes to swap work pants for gym shorts.

Today I saw a 60 year old man standing by the communal sink shaving in the nude.  As he leaned in for a closeup of his shaving strokes, his pubes rested on the area I often touch when using the sink.  What’s even worse is that out of 4 sinks, he decided to use the one with the built-in fountain.  I typically drink from that fountain, which at the time of this charade, was only a crab’s jump away from his old dick and balls.

I wonder what it is about prior generations of men that gives them this naked liberty.  Maybe their generation wasn’t in touch with their feelings.  Maybe it’s my fault for only seeing what is repulsive in life.  The absolute worst part of this is that I know deep down in my heart that in the women’s locker room there are 12 smoking hot girls who are sweaty, wet and eager to compare breasts through the miracle of touch and taste. 

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Comments

Casey Hoalcraft

Dec 03 at 06:56 AM

I totally agree.. Old men and nudity come hand and hand.. Its kind of sick. Mike ill bring you back to 1996. First day of RBC football practice freshman year… Referred to as “The day my soul died”.. I showed up to practice about a half an hour early because im a punctual kind of guy and I wanted to make a good first impression. I walk into the football locker room in the parking lot to find noone was there.. I walk around looking thinking to myself maybe im in the wrong locker room.. As I ascend into the varsity locker room i witness Coach Mont in all of his glory standing there facing me reading the newspaper. When my jaw hit the floor it must have made a sound because he looked up.. Proceeded to walk over to me and shake my hand and introduce himself. Not only was he ass naked.. but i think he was related to some breed of europeon horse. It was truly a low point in my life. Thought i would share my pain with you..

 
Mike Slebodnik

Dec 05 at 12:25 AM

Jesus Christ, dude.  I used to eat food in there.

 
Casey Hoalcraft

Dec 05 at 01:44 AM

Yeah I hope you never used the 3 second rule…

 
Courtney

May 13 at 05:57 PM

To set the record straight: that is just a male fantasy.  Women do not actually “compare breast size” and there really are no “smoking hot girls.”  There are old women walking around naked!  I accompanied my mom to the gym, and while I was waiting for her in the locker room, an older woman (had to be in her sixties) walked around stark naked!  Its not just in the guys locker room…I think you are right, after a certain age, it seems both men and women do not care and probably prefer to walk around butt-ass naked.  Maybe they’ve earned it…they’ve spent how many years conforming to society and wearing clothes.  The locker room at the gym is their outlet and they can let loose.  Who knows?

 
Aidan Quin

Jun 12 at 12:57 PM

“only a crab’s jump away” LMAO.

I’m a gay male in my early 40’s. I’m not a perfect physical specimen, but I can turn the occasional head. I used to be really self-conscious about my body; but I had a bit of an exhibitionist side to me, too. I got rid of a lot of my self-consciousness, so now I’m likely to be your worst nightmare.

I like to go into the locker rooms and be as naked as much as possible. Guys can look at me as much as they want. I love the freedom of the locker room, where you can be naked, and no-one can say anything about it. It’s kind of funny, but I think people are scared that if they were to see a male member and the wind changed, then they’d be stuck on gay, or something.

 
remi

Oct 22 at 08:18 PM

All of the guys at my gym (old, college age and every age in between) strip at their locker and walk to the shower nude.  It is a communal shower so why bother covering up?  I have never seen a guy just walking around, brushing his teeth, etc naked though.

 
Landon

Mar 24 at 07:43 PM

I am in the locker room almost every day. I’m Italian and have a thick 6.5 inch flaccid dick that gets 8.3 inches when hard. Me and every guy in there walk around naked laughing and talking to each other. I don’t see why it’s such a big deal to be naked. Men should just let loose and not care about who sees them, at least that’s my philosphy. I have even compared penis length with dudes in the shower. Walking across the locker room nude is no big deal I just let it hang there or flop around as I walk. Sometimes scratching my balls just to bring attention to what I’ve got down there. Locker rooms are meant for guys to show off their junk and see how they compare to other men.

 
JASON

Jun 14 at 08:51 PM

There is a myth that younger guys are not getting naked in the locker room. I have gone to several gyms and this is just not true.  The only difference is the younger guys are not hanging out naked.  But they absolutely strip to shower—and may or may not go the showers naked or toweled, often depending on distance or whether the showers are communal or not.  If they are communal I find it rare for guys of any age to bother with the towel taking six steps into the shower area.  As for hanging around naked, the old guys have time to take time with everything they do.

 
MICHAEL

Jun 21 at 04:43 AM

I agree with Jason.  Men of all ages get naked in the locker room to do what is done there.  It is so common and so obvious it does not deserve commentary at all.  Strip.  Take a shower. Get dressed.  The old dudes do seem more comfortable and less rushed.  But the young guys are not"scared” to do there business in a communal shower.  And today’s younger guys are tomorrow’s older ones.  I don’t think the differences are generational, I think they are related to age.  As you get older you care less and less about alot of things…

 
Old Man

Jul 25 at 07:11 PM

Here’s the deal with men over 50. When we went to junior high, we had to change clothes for PE. In high school we had to take showers. Admittedly, a lot of us hated it at first. The idea of being naked around other guys brought on feeling of extreme discomfort. But, when you do it five days a week, nine months of the year for four years, you get used it.

Eventually, you actually become comfortable in your own skin. This is something the younger generation has never learned. You young boys are embarrassed about your own bodies.

Older men walked around a locker room naked because to cover up is to be gay. Let me explain. Who is in a men’s locker room? Men. Do straight men check out each others junk? No. Since men in men’s locker rooms aren’t looking at each others junk, there’s no one to hide from. What kind of man would be looking at another man’s junk? Not a straight man—it would have to be a gay man. Straight men like to look at women, not men. What kind of man would care whether another man was checking out his junk? A straight man wouldn’t care. Only a gay man would even think about it.

So, to recap, older men are not ashamed of their bodies like younger men are. Straight men don’t look at other men’s bodies. Even so, a straight man isn’t intimated by the possibility that some gay guy might be looking at his body. In any case, there’s no need to cover up in a men’s locker room—unless you’re gay.

 
Old Man

Jul 25 at 07:18 PM

Additionally, most men over the age of 50 served at least some time in the military—where modesty is generally not an option. A military physical, in those days, typically involved standing around naked for hours while moving from one station to the next. Eyes. Ears. Turn your head and cough. Bend over and crack a smile. Etc. Again, only a gay man would care.

 

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