The Life of Banzabar

Banzabar lived in a barn just outside San Jose, California.  His only food source was a hefty trash bag found in the center of his barn.  Bonaserra is the rancher who comes and delivers the trash for it to mold and rot on a weekly basis.  The garbage man only comes around every month or so.  Sometimes they forget about the place but definitely make the trip to come out.

As night fell, Banzabar stirred from a dream and with anxiety hitting an all time high, he immediately stepped outside in the moonlight for some fresh air.  With thoughts banging away at the dozens, all he could think about was spaghetti and honey.  He looked over at the trash, which nestled close by and kept him warm at nights when it oozed some green and orange goo that smelled like molded cheese.  Banzabar knew it was time for a change and decided to move away from the God forsaken place. 

So early the next morning he set out on the dirt road looking for paradise.  As he strolled along, his confidence was pouring stronger and stronger with each and every stride.  But just when he thought it was all going to work out, a sudden churning sensation started to occur in the belly.  It was diahrea, an illness that plagues us all.  Finding a pleasant tree and its roots to spray the mess on, he turned his head so he could watch the show, which kindly reminded him of a sprinkler head and its purpose.  Immediately wagging the drips from his beaten butthole, he continued to press on.

The further he got away from the barn, he began to miss certain luxuries.  One in particular was the mashed bananas topped with gravy in a bowl that Bonaserra would prepare for him every other night.  It was a real treat, but what a beating it did on Banzabar’s butthole.  Then, after only a couple more hours of strolling, he found paradise.  It was a barn very similar to the one he lived in before.  Without hesitation, he walked right in.

There he met Bejiamarakahar Raheem, a stunning female veterinarian with terrible breath and sweaty armpits.  She had a heart the size of an elephant and a team of pets of her own.  There was a miniature horse who was the size of a mouse that spoke Japanese.  There was a miniature human as well named Joel who had a relationship with a guinea pig.  The relationship as the rumors go is said to be simply sexual but they keep it under wraps so no one really cares.

As for Banzabar, he’s found a lassie dog named Beemer who was born a hermaphrodite but got his pickle wrapped around a barbed wire fence while attempting to leap over it.  So the sex life for Banzabar couldn’t have been better and you wouldn’t have guessed it but he and the others lived together happily ever after.

The End.